Posted: Fri Dec 12, 2008 12:19 am Post subject: Zimbabwean Authorities arrest Cholera. (Satire)
Zimbabwe’s aging Dictator, Robert Mugabe today emphatically denied that there was any Cholera outbreak in his country.
He accused the West of a conspiracy to topple him from power, and accused British Prime Minister Gordon Brown of needing 'medical attention' for his head.
Likening Mr. Brown to a Mad Cow, the Zimbabwean President went on, 'We are not a threat to international peace, not a threat to our region.'
Mr. Brown, who had been lying in a manger replied with a gentle 'Moo' as he ponderously got to his feet, still chewing the cud, he swished his tail angrily at some non-excistant flies (the weather was far too cold for flies in the middle of December), and followed his Cowherd, Harriet the Lariat Harman out into the cattle lorry to be taken back to the House of Commons.
Meanwhile, back in Zimbabwe, Ian Smith who used to run the joint before Mugabe came to power, was said to be spinning in his grave.
Mugabe went on Zimbabwean television to denounce other Western leaders, and Britain in particular.
In a nationally televised speech, he said: ‘I am happy to say our doctors are being assisted by others and the WHO [World Health Organization] have now arrested cholera.’
The cameras panned to a shot of Cholera handcuffed to two burly Policemen, who were dragging it out of the studio and into the back of a Paddy Wagon.
Back on the streets of Harare, the Capital City, thousands of people were queuing at ATM machines to withdraw their several million Rand, which is now virtually worthless, teachers can't even buy a loaf of bread with their monthly pay.
Streams of raw untreated sewage flow down the streets, and people have to either jump or try to step over them to reach the ATM.
An estimated three million Zimbabweans have gone to earn their living in South Africa, as their economy has collapsed at home.
Meanwhile the Loony President who is suffering from Delusions of Grandeur insists that there is absolutely nothing wrong with his country and it is all lies and spin coming from those governments that want him to step down.
Sipping expensive Mineral Water from a crystal glass, he said,
Now that there is no cholera there is no cause for war.
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