Sandie Seward
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Asylum!!!!!! Hi there and welcome to a brand new edition of
· 'ASYLUM'.
Today's program features another chance to take part in our exciting competition:
· HIJACK AN AIRLINER
· and win
· A COUNCIL HOUSE!
· We've already given away hundreds of millions of pounds and thousands of dream homes, courtesy of our sponsor,
· The British Taxpayer.
· And don't forget, we're now the fastest growing game on the planet.
· Anyone can play, provided they don't already hold a valid British Passport, and the only word you need to be able to speak in English is:
· 'ASYLUM'
· Prizes include all-expenses-paid accommodation (yes that’s right, none of this move in now and pay later) you can live free for the rest of your life. Cash benefits start at a competitive £180 a week without children, but you can claim an extra 70 pounds for every child you bring along with you, just think you and your family could actually get around 1,000 pounds a week. Incredibly on top of all this you can also earn thousands more, by simply begging, mugging and accosting drivers at traffic lights.
· This competition is open to everyone
buying a ticket or stowing away on one of our
· partner airlines, ferry companies or Eurostar.
·
No application ever refused - reasonable or unreasonable.
· All you have to do is destroy all your papers and remember the magic password:
· 'ASYLUM'
· A few years ago, 140 members of a Taliban family from Afghanistan were flown Goat Class from Kabul to our international gateway at Stanstead where local law enforcement officers were on hand to fast-track them to their luxury
£200-a-night rooms in the fabulous four star Hilton Hotel.20
· They joined tens of thousands of other lucky winners already staying in hotels all over Britain.
· Our most popular destinations also include the White Cliffs of Dover and the world famous Toddington Services area, in Historic Bedfordshire.
· For those of you who may have to wait while applications are processed there are special daily getaway breaks to the famous streets of London where you can join up with hundreds of your friends and browse the street stalls selling souvenirs such as first edition placards displaying such famous statements as ‘Death to all non muslims” ‘Say yes to sharia law” and “Behead all non believers” to name just a few. You can join in the carnival atmosphere and throw road signs, barricades and cones at the metropolitan police force, you may even be lucky enough to be offered a ‘Lucky brick’ which by long lasting tradition must be thrown through the window of well known shop, restaurant or supermarket e.g. Starbucks.
·
If you still don't understand the rules, don't forget, there's no need to phone a friend or ask the audience
· Just apply for legal aid.
· Hundreds of lawyers, social workers and counsellors are waiting to help.
· It won't cost you a penny.
· It could change your life forever .
So play today.
·
Iraqi terrorists, Afghan dissidents, Albanian gangsters, pro-Pinochet
activists, anti-Pinochet activists, Kosovan drug-smugglers, Tamil tigers,
bogus Bosnians, Rwandan mass murderers, Somali guerrillas, Islamic militants.
· What are you waiting for
· COME ON DOWN!
·
Get along to the airport!
· Get along to the lorry park!
· Get along to the ferry terminal!
· Don't stop in Germany or France !
· Go straight to Britain
· And you are:
· GUARANTEED
· to be one of tens of thousands of lucky winners in the easiest game on earth.
· Everyone's a winner, when they play
· 'ASYLUM'
· Hurry this offer must end by the year 2025 when it is expected that an Islamic government will be sworn in and all benefits, human rights, churches, alcohol, Asda, Tesco, sunbathing, singing, laughing, kissing, hugging, football, rugby, television, radio, schools, jobs etc will be a thing of the past. Instead there will be thousands of mosques, Ramadan, sheep and goats sacrificed in the high street, sharia law (hangings in town centres, limb removal and stoning to death in public etc)
· Stop press: Special offer:
· Bring along 500 of your friends and/or relatives and we will arrange to have a mosque built at a location of your choice, free of charge, subject to planning permission which is normally granted within two (2) working days.
· Note: Conditions apply………. Imams must be sanctioned by Al Quada and may require to provide terrorist and bomb making training within the facility.
· Due to recent government legislation rapists, pedophiles and those responsible for the 9/11 and 7/7 attacks are now also welcome.
·The time has come for the REAL British people to make themselves heard.
· FORWARD THIS TO EVERY REAL BRITISH PERSON YOU KNOW!
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