Sandie Seward
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Retirement.This article is one i recently wrote for a Satire Site called "Uncyclopedia".
No offence meant and, I hope, none taken.
"Retired, with lot's of Time on my hands. Well, that's the idea. However, when you retire from the Rat Race.....you miss the racing, then, you also miss the Rats.
Funny thing this "Retirement" malarky. You make loads of plans whilst at work about how you will spend all those long days of freedom.
Then, reality sets in! Lack of money to do all that unlimited travel you dreamed about.
Your health slowly worsens, and you find yourself spending more and more time sitting in Doctors' Waiting-Rooms, and Out Patients Departments at you local hospital.
The hours, and days merge into one long nightmare, you feel yourself growing older, and start thinking about your prospects in the years you have left.
Will it be a Care Home, Nursing Home, or, God Forbid, the type of "home" where everyone sits around a television set that is never turned off, nobody ever watches it, you just sit there, mumbling away to yourself, and the pee runs down your leg.
Sinking towards the grave in a urine-soaked mess, you pray daily for that eventual happy release. " 
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janowl
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Han't got that bad yet, but I feel it's not too far off LOL
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browneyes
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Re: Retirement. | Sandie Seward wrote: | This article is one i recently wrote for a Satire Site called "Uncyclopedia".
No offence meant and, I hope, none taken.
"Retired, with lot's of Time on my hands. Well, that's the idea. However, when you retire from the Rat Race.....you miss the racing, then, you also miss the Rats.
Funny thing this "Retirement" malarky. You make loads of plans whilst at work about how you will spend all those long days of freedom.
Then, reality sets in! Lack of money to do all that unlimited travel you dreamed about.
Your health slowly worsens, and you find yourself spending more and more time sitting in Doctors' Waiting-Rooms, and Out Patients Departments at you local hospital.
The hours, and days merge into one long nightmare, you feel yourself growing older, and start thinking about your prospects in the years you have left.
Will it be a Care Home, Nursing Home, or, God Forbid, the type of "home" where everyone sits around a television set that is never turned off, nobody ever watches it, you just sit there, mumbling away to yourself, and the pee runs down your leg.
Sinking towards the grave in a urine-soaked mess, you pray daily for that eventual happy release. " |
oh dear Sandie and iv been so happy in my old age can you put somthing on that will cheer me up now please
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JoJo
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Well that cat made me smile Browneyes,
As for the last part of your artical Sandie I think that is everybodys worst nightmare
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browneyes
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yes thats why i put the cat on i dont like to think about it in fact i dont
 thats me 20 years from now.....well if you dont laugh you,d cry wouldnt you 
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Sandie Seward
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Browneyes, I look like that, already.......... 
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JoJo
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My mother Suffered mini strokes now that dosn't sound too bad does it? slowly at first her speech went,then she could not swallow and had to be fed by tube,next the use went from her legs and in the end she could not even press a buzzar to get attension totally paralysed, she was aware of her plight,she could laugh and cry and we all did a lot of the latter, she lived in this final state for over a year and finally caught a bug in the nursing home and vomited into her lungs she died 24hrs later, now I watched every stage and I am telling you all now if I find I am going down the same road,I will get on the internet order the largest amount of sleeping pills I can get and say BYE BYE I know you might not agree and say it's wrong to take your life,but when you have seen the humiliation and loss of dignity,I think you might change your mind 
Sorry Browneyes to have spoiled your joke 
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Sandie Seward
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JoJo, I fully agree with you. Sorry to read about your poor Mum. My Mother had Parkingsons Disease and I have always said that I would rather die than end my days the way she ended hers.
It is horrible to watch people you love fade away before your very eyes. I think that there has to be a very strong case for Voluntary Euthanasia.
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JoJo
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Yes Sandie if I could have done anything within the law to have helped my poor mother I would have,I agree while you are still in sound mind you should have the choice to make a living will,people who oppose this have never had to stand by and watch a loved one suffer thats all I can say
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Zooman
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LossYes, I know what it's like to lose someone dear to you,
My Mum passed away just over 3 years ago.
She had suffered years of pain from crippling Arthritis, crumbly bones,scoliosis,
she was bent almost double most of the time,but despite all of this,
remained a very positive person.
She ended up having mini strokes, and was hospitalised a couple of times,
where she suffered a collapse, which finished her off.!
Unfortunately by the time my Dad and I got the call from the Hospital in the early hours,
and arrived there, sadly Mum had Died.
I had always dreaded losing someone as close as my Mum or Dad,
but after the initial shock and numbness,
I got on with my life, as you do, life goes on.
I have to say, Mum was a bit too fond of Bacon Sarnies, and Ciggies,
which can't have helped health wise, but even if you live a parsimonious lifestyle,
and avoid all those "naughty" pleasures, the Reaper will still get you,
so you may as well enjoy yourself while you can.!
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Sandie Seward
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Very true, Mike. That's why I smoke like a chimbley, drink like a fish, shag like an alleycat, and generally do all those things that are supposed to be bad for you.
At sixty-three I'm still here, still active, and could still give these youngsters something to think about!
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Sandie Seward
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| Quote: | That's why I smoke like a chimbley, drink like a fish, shag like an alleycat, and generally do all those things that are supposed to be bad for you.
At sixty-three I'm still here, still active, and could still give these youngsters something to think about! Laughing |
People please take note: the above post was written months ago, and I have to admit to being somewhat "liberal" with the truth! I did smoke a lot, but have hardly drank for the past three or four years, and as for that "other"....forget it, been celebate for longer than I can remember!
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